My New Floor Routine

2008-12-16T15:38:00.000-08:00

2008-12-16T15:02:00.000-08:00

kris krangled

2008-11-11T23:49:00.000-08:00

2008-10-04T06:07:00.000-07:00

2008-10-04T05:59:00.000-07:00

slumberjack

2008-03-11T22:53:00.000-07:00

FIERCE THRASHER

2008-02-27T15:38:00.000-08:00

skip if you want to just at around 5 min.

what absolute fucking mastermind thinks to name an operation "Fierce Thrasher"?
I believe this genius is quoting John Dennys, who wrote The Secrets of Angling. First published in the early seventeenth century, this long poem gives an in-depth look at the fine art of fishing.

Nor that admirer of sweet music's sound
That on his back ARION bore away
And brought to shore out of the seas profound ;
The hippotame that like an horse doth neigh,
The morse that from the rocks enrolled round
Within his teeth himself doth safe convey ;
The tortoise covered with his target hard,
The tuberon attended with his guard.
Nor with that fish that beareth in his snout
A ragged sword, his foes to spoil and kill ;
Nor that FIERCE THRASHER
that doth fling about
His nimble flail and handles him at will ;
The ravenous shark that with the sweepings out
And filth of ships doth oft his belly fill ;
The albacore that followeth night and day
The flying fish, and takes them for his prey.
The crocodile that weeps when he doth wrong,
The halibut that hurts the appetite,
The turbot broad, the seal, the sturgeon strong,
The cod and cozze that greedy are to bite,
The hake, the haddock, and conger long,
The yellow ling, the milwell fair and white,
The spreading ray, the thornback thin and flat,
The boisterous base, the hoggish tunny fat.
These kinds of fish that are so large of size,
And many more that here I leave untold,
Shall go for me, and all the rest likewise

wow. i wouldn't want to be fiercely thrashed. nor thrashed fiercely.

um.

2008-02-27T15:11:00.001-08:00

freedom and awkwardness go hand in hand

2008-02-24T19:46:00.000-08:00

2008-01-25T15:31:00.000-08:00

i have type 1 diabetes

2008-01-25T15:23:00.000-08:00

i have diabetes now but i am still on the lookouot for danger and mystery

2008-01-25T01:29:00.000-08:00

2008-01-24T21:04:00.001-08:00

uh-oh

2008-01-24T20:59:00.001-08:00

2008-01-24T20:17:00.000-08:00

2007-11-26T02:23:00.000-08:00

2007-11-23T05:41:00.000-08:00

2007-11-23T04:37:00.000-08:00

P-town

2007-10-23T23:09:00.000-07:00

the west bank is the best bank (i am an impostor)

2007-10-14T21:33:00.000-07:00

Jordan

2007-10-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

2007-09-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

zap!

2007-09-15T11:00:00.000-07:00

and now it is autumn. and i wake with the memory of a dream of dreams of haunted cruise ships, zombies, my ex-brother-in-law, sex with the virgin mary in joseph's woodshop. dreams of death machines manned by carrot men crushing daisies. and lindsey lohan.
the cold wind is here and it pushes the trees that flash with the sun. and i am angry and hopeless this morning. time for a moutaindewski.

2007-09-03T23:36:00.000-07:00

i have a lot on my plate right now

2007-08-29T22:21:00.001-07:00

ima be a vetemanarian when i grow up

i mow the lawn daily

too many

2007-08-22T19:02:00.000-07:00

2007-08-19T02:30:00.001-07:00

shit's real

candy

2007-08-19T02:06:00.001-07:00

fuck yes.
apparently somebody snuck a video camera into heaven and came back with some mean footage.

2007-08-19T01:58:00.000-07:00

these is rob's arts works

i'm tired...(normal stuff)

2007-08-07T11:32:00.000-07:00

to be honest, i'm a little tuckered out. i am exhausted because i saved my friend (and painter extraordinaire) Rob Streff from drowning on this last saturday, August 4 2007. we were in the wild Cascade mountains in central Oregon when the unthinkable happened. jeff and i started swimming across a lake when rob jumped in and halfway across got a leg cramp and started to panic. i tried to calm him by telling him to breathe deeply, but he started to hyperventilate. then he couldn't get a breath and repeated 20 or 30 times "i can't breathe!". his head went under. so at this point i deftly swam to where he was and allowed him to cling to my neck while i supported him with one hand. i was slightly apprehensive about this because i have heard about people drowning their rescuers...luckily this did not happen and i helped get Rob in to shore and jeff assisted when he was able to reach us. all in all i suppose that i could be called a "HERO" and maybe when you think of me you could think of the word "HERO" and all that. i am just happy that i was able to give rob the best gift of all, the gift of life.

player 4 lyfe

2007-07-11T08:04:00.000-07:00

puffin purple stuff, pullin' purple stuff, i beat the robots. this little cuddlebug is back in action. after spending many sleepless nights trying and failing to access my beloved blog i have finally hacked into the mainframe and changed the password that i had forgotten. i have been busy lately, working my black magic and refuting various slanderous remarks regarding my androgynous appearance. i went to the river and opened my eyes underwater at night time. i wore my goggles during the day and found two cans of budweiser at the bottom. the tweakers left their car sitting in the middle of the bridge blasting death metal. i have been playing tennis. i have a pretty deadly serve, if i can get it in. despite the river and tennis i am struggling. sometimes i wonder if maybe i will have a rebound like lennox lewis did (7th round) fighting frank bruno in 93'. battle of the brits. i need one of those big left hooks right about now. i met a real-life murderer the other day. he was really nice. i did not ask whom he murdered or why. but he was really nice. he gave me cigarettes and ice water. it was hot that day not like today. today it is overcast and a bit windy, a nice respite from the recent heat. i heard somebody yell nigger in town. sometimes people just talk about the "stupid mexicans". i drove past the cops drinking beer with two different license plates on a truck that i had borrowed from a misogynist. got stopped by the coroner general picking up railroad ties down by the tracks. i got stoned and shot guns at plastic bottles and an empty pack of camels. according to my ex-army friend my accuracy with the pistol at 40 yards approaches sharpshooter status. i'm starting to fit into this little town in northern california that has more of a mid-west 1950's vibe than anything else. i ran over a squirrel with my bike. i was going up a big hill so i took it's crooked frozen pose as death and moved on. my friend pushed me into a thorny bush and my arm bled a few days later i threw a glass of water in his face and we all laughed. i ratted his girlfriend out when i saw her at the TRANSFORMERS movie. she said she was walking down by the bridge and i didn't want him to worry about imaginary suicidal behavior. and now i have to go to work and build a fence with a little man who makes off-handed comments about how pretty my sister is. and that is it. i will cruise the strip listening to the latest justin timberlake song and make funny faces in the rear-view. my dad got married last week to a woman named diane. i think that this is a good thing.

magic land

2006-12-06T17:25:00.000-08:00

today my mom went to magic land

one time

2006-12-01T00:13:00.000-08:00

once, when i was in olympia, washington, my friends, eric, ben, and i were walking down the street with a carton of beer when a young man approached us and asked if he could give us a couple of bucks for a bottle of beer. eric said, "nah, you don't have to give us any money. but do you have a motto, any sort of saying that you like to tell people?" that's when the young man replied, in all seriousness, "my last name is Amotto.". then we all were a bit dumbfounded and just stared at him, so he repeated, "no, really, my last name is Amotto." we gave him beer. then we all just giggled and walked away, mystified by the glory of life.

a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

2006-11-26T19:28:00.000-08:00

Pirates

2006-11-21T01:35:00.000-08:00

NUFF' SAID

2006-11-10T17:59:00.000-08:00

Los Tres Mosqueteros

2006-11-08T17:28:00.000-08:00

the holy ghost. the panama canal. gay dolphins.

2006-11-08T15:32:00.000-08:00

my mom sure likes the holy ghost.
she worries about the panama canal and gay dolphins.

The Wholphin

2006-11-07T21:40:00.000-08:00

this is the wholphin. it is what happens when a false killer whale (Pseudorca crassidens) humps a bottlenose dolphin (Tursiops truncatus). it was born on my third birthday (May 15, 1985) at Sea Life Park on the island of Oahu. my mom had in fact taken me to Sea Life Park on that very day. i may or may not have been in the somewhat immediate vicinity at the time of birth. we did not find out about the birth until later on in the evening when we heard a radio news broadcast. i recall being thrilled and clutching a placemat opposite the sink in the kitchen.

i have a dream

2006-11-07T19:07:00.000-08:00

last night i had a dream that i joined the marines and had LaVar Burton (Roots, Star Trek, Reading Rainbow) as a drill instructor. we marched in hopscotch formations and carried bags full of rice to simulate the wounded. i was the best in my platoon. LaVar and i got along immensely well.
i also sneezed and sniffled throughout the night. i am allergic to dust.

2006-10-30T18:39:00.000-08:00

i am here now